If my Racquet Could Talk

What exactly would my flexpoint radical say?

I like to think of him writing me a letter of all his thoughts rather than talking to me out in the open. Mostly because a talking tennis racquet would scare the crap out of me.

So, if my racquet wrote me a letter I think it would sound something like this.

Dear Justin,

You know things haven't been good between us in a long time. You never take me out anymore! I just sit in the house all day and you never bother to take me out so we can have a good time. I feel like we are strangers living in the same room. When was the last time you bought me anything? You never make me feel special by getting me re-strung, or changing my grip. I must be the frumpiest looking tennis racquet in all of Albany. If you do not start showing me more attention and pampering me a little bit I will call the authorities and tell them about that time you threw me against that fence! Don't think for a second I forgot that! I still have the scars! You need to take a good long look in the mirror and remember all the great times we had together, and ask yourself if you really want to let this relationship wither and die.

Sincerely,

Flexpoint Radical